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My husband just knows how to love me. Do you know why? Not because he’s perfect, or because he always says the right words – simply because of one very important fact. He loves me just the way I am.
As most of you know, 2018 has been a difficult year for us personally. We’ve grieved the loss of a family member, we put our home on the market and we heard the life changing diagnosis of two of our children. Our lives have never been this hard, and our days have never been as hectic as they are. Yet the love we have for each other and for our children has never been deeper.
As someone that struggles with daily anxiety, I’m not the easiest person to love. I’m stubborn, opinionated and set in my ways. I whine, I try to control, and I expect my husband to love me anyway – and thankfully he does.
Men often think we want them to be a certain way or say the perfect words all the time. They think we need our husbands to anticipate our needs constantly, which would be nice I’ll admit, but men just aren’t wired that way. All we really want from our husbands is love – unconditional love.
There are so many things that make me feel loved by my husband. Every time he listens, encourages or show me he appreciates me – I feel loved. Any time he sees me upset and just listens, I feel loved. Every single time he calls me, hugs me, or tells me I’m beautiful – I feel so loved.
The other day I had a rough day, pretty much from start to finish. My kids were being crazy, daily stress was overtaking me, and I hadn’t had any time to rest or unwind AT ALL. It was one of those days that every worry was on my mind at once and I just couldn’t take it.
I walked into my closet and sank to the floor pitifully, like a child who’d just been told she couldn’t have dessert. I’m not sure there was anything my husband could have said to make me feel better, and I think he knew that as he turned the corner to find me sobbing. He walked in, stood me up and held me without saying one single word. Maybe he understood that my tantrum was probably about more than just that one hard day. Maybe he knew that no words would really comfort me in that moment. Maybe he didn’t know what to say, or maybe he just knew exactly how to love me.
Listen up husbands, we don’t need you to always say the right things when we fall apart. You don’t have to fix it, you just have to listen. You don’t have to understand, you just have to show up. You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to put in effort. Put in effort to help, effort to empathize and effort to show love. That’s all we want.
So to all the husbands out there that know just how to love their wives – keep up the good work! To the ones that know exactly when to speak and when to just show up, you are cherished. To the ones that love unconditionally, apologize regularly, forgive often, and accept your wives for exactly who they are – you are more appreciated than you may realize.
And to my husband who loves me just the way I am, make-up or not, tears or laughter, sickness and health – thank you from the bottom of my heart.