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I don’t know about you but my goal in motherhood is to be a happy mom, not a perfect one. I want my children to remember the joy in our home. I want them to look back one day and picture me laughing, cuddling and enjoying my life as a mom. I don’t want them to only see me rushing around worried about the next activity or task on my to-do list. I’m always reminding myself of this goal and I think you should too. Here are 8 Habits you should stop right now to become a happier mom.
Comparing yourself to other moms.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret, no one is portrayed correctly on social media. One of the reasons I started this blog was because I was sick of the fake, inauthentic portrayal of motherhood. We are all flawed. We are all trying our best, but we all fail along the way. I’d rather be real and raw about my struggles in hopes of helping someone else.
I promise if you stop comparing yourself to other moms who you think are perfect, you’ll be a happier mom in an instant. Comparison sets you up to fail, especially when you’re comparing yourself to someone’s made up image. I don’t want to be friends with the mom that says she’s never yelled at her kids before, I want to be friends with the mom who tells me she cried in the shower this morning after she got puked on, those moms are my soul sisters – the real ones.
Neglecting self care.
This is a personal struggle for me. I tend to go, go, go until I’m on the verge of a mommy meltdown. I’m working on taking breaks. I’m working on being more intentional about reading, Bible time, bubble baths and friend time, because I know that helps me be a better mom. Let’s start a movement of taking care of ourselves, so we can better take care of our kids. Join me, won’t you?
Striving for perfection.
Repeat after me, there is no such thing as a perfect mom. Now say it again slowly… Let that sink in. Your kids are not expecting a perfect mom who never makes mistakes. If you mess up, apologize. Your children won’t ever look back and say “Man I wish I had a perfect mom.” They may want to remember a humble, happy mom who was willing to admit her faults. Mostly though, they will just remember the unconditional love you showed them. That’s what matters.
Rushing through the day.
I use to be guilty of this. I’d rush around cleaning, working, driving, and hurrying along to check all the items off my list for the day. Guess what though? At the end of the day my list would be done, but my heart would be full of guilt. I wasn’t enjoying my children or my day when I rushed through it. I’m much better at this now, it only took a life changing diagnosis.…but hey, at least I’m on the right track now. Take it from me, slow down, breathe and enjoy being a happier mom. I promise, you won’t regret it.
Doing it all by yourself.
Again, I’m bad at this one. I’m stubborn and don’t like to ask for help, or so I’m told. Sometimes though it’s essential to our sanity to reach out for help. Learn to ask for help, even if it’s just a small favor. We are not superhuman, so sometimes we really need a little help to manage everything. There is no shame in asking for help.
Cleaning every day.
Stop it, just stop it. No one needs their home to sparkle all the time. Is your home being photographed by a design magazine? No? Then just stop it. Tidy up, make it neat, but don’t deep clean every single day. It just puts you in a bad mood when you constantly clean all day long. You’ll end up mad at your children for playing because it’s a mess. Just embrace the mess, and do a family tidy up at the end of the day. As my son said it best when I walked in to find my three kids knee deep in toys one day. I gasped and said “Look at the mess you guys are making!” To which he replied with a smirk, “But look at the fun we’re having..” Well played kid, well played.
Stressing about trivial things.
Again this is something I’ve only gotten better at recently, after D-day (diagnosis day). As someone who suffers with anxiety, I use to panic about the smallest things. Events, social interactions and mess would send me into a whirlwind of stress, but not anymore. Now I panic, just about larger things….haha. No, but seriously now I try to remember what really matters at the end of the day. I try not to dwell on things I can’t control and I work on letting go of trivial matters. The secret to stressing less is caring about less. I focus on my faith, my marriage and my children…those are the important things.
Taking life too seriously.
Learn to laugh at the spill on the carpet. Learn to sit down on the floor and play superhero’s with your children. Embrace the little moments, because as I recently learned, life is really about the details. Those small moments of laughter, cuddles and joy are what will truly define this short life. Don’t take life so seriously and learn to laugh at yourself, that is the secret to becoming a happier mom.
Just enjoy the ride sweet mama, you only get to live it once. Cherish every second.