I believe in God.
That’s not something I hide in my writing, but I fear some people may think that my faith is just a personal comfort and nothing more. It’s true I cling to my faith in times of pain. That’s simply because it’s part of who I am now, but that’s not why I believe in God.
I don’t believe because my parents told me to, or because I’ve been “brainwashed” in some way. I don’t believe because my faith magically takes away all my suffering. I believe because the only way I can handle my trials is with God’s help.
I believe in God because I can feel Him. I can see Him working in my life constantly. I’ve seen miracles and experienced things that just cannot be explained. I’ve suffered a lot in my short life, yet I’m always surrounded by comfort. I’ve been in deep, dark places yet I’ve still been able to look up – because I believe.
I’ve had many God moments, as I call them.
One happened recently and it took my breath away. I was reading a post online from a mom in a closed group I’m in (for mom’s that have children with Duchenne). She was asking for prayer for her son as they coped with his final days. I was moved by her post and I closed my eyes and prayed for her son. I started praying for him by name, Marcus. After ending my prayer I reread her post and got chills. No where in her post was his name even mentioned. I headed to her profile to see if it listed his name anywhere and sure enough after searching around a bit I found his name, it was Marcus. Can you explain how I would pray for someone I don’t even know by name? Can you explain such a moment without God? Because I sure can’t.
Moments like this happen all the time. Some people may call them coincidences, but as a believer in Christ I simply don’t believe in coincidences anymore. How could I?
I’ve had unexpected checks show up in the mail in the exact amount we needed. I’ve seen prayers answered in amazing ways. I’ve seen people show up for us at the perfect times. I’ve been taken care of my whole life. Even in the presence of intense suffering, I have always been held up by God.
I somehow feel closer to God when my heart is broken.
I know God doesn’t want me to suffer, but He does want me to lean on him through the trials I face. He can use my brokenness as an opportunity for growth. He will use my suffering to refine me, strengthen me and show me what my purpose is meant to be on this earth.
I don’t believe I was meant to cure cancer, fight in a war or be a great inventor of some sort. I do believe God created me to love Him and glorify him through motherhood, my life and my writing. My life is full of errors because I’m human, but it’s also full of grace, mercy and joy because I’m forgiven.
I truly believe I was made to tell you about God’s love for you. He sent Jesus for you. He couldn’t imagine a Heaven without us in it so he made a way for us to be with Him for eternity. All we have to do is admit we are sinners and believe. Seems so simple to me, yet people have been overcomplicating faith for generations.
I pray you listen for Him yourself and find out who He made you to be. Trust me, it’s life changing when you realize that you aren’t alone, especially in this broken world.
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. – Jeremiah 29:13