I don’t deserve this…
We’ve all had that thought run through our minds when difficulties come our way. Maybe you had a fight with your spouse and they said hurtful things that cut you deep. Maybe you lost your job and feel that all your hard work should’ve been rewarded, not rejected. Maybe you’ve lived a hard life, or your have a tough diagnosis to process. Maybe you’ve suffered a tragic loss that you’re still trying to come to terms with. No matter what the reason, we all feel this way sometimes. We all suffer at some point in our lives, what’s important is how we suffer.
I don’t deserve to struggle or suffer, we think to ourselves.
“What did I ever do to deserve such hardships?” we mutter under our breath, but this thought only makes things worse, trust me. This toxic way of thinking sets us up to feel depressed and entitled. Where did we get this idea that life should only be constant rewards and joy? Why should a successful life be defined as a life without suffering?
In the Bible, Jesus says “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 It doesn’t say in this life you will have a perfect life full of tranquility.
Perfection doesn’t exist.
Jesus says you will have tribulation. Trials are inevitable. It’s just a fact of life.
I’ve learned to flip this thought from “I don’t deserve this kind of suffering” to “I don’t deserve all this joy in my life” Jesus didn’t deserve to die and I don’t deserve to live, but because of His sacrifice I am here living a beautiful life. My days may have suffering and pain, but they also have laughter, joy and memories that I will treasure forever.
Flip your perspective.
So the next time you feel that toxic mindset creeping in, flip it and remember to focus on all the good things you have that you also “don’t deserve.” I have a life full of difficulties, but I also have a life full of immense happiness that I wouldn’t trade for the world.
Suffering changes you.
Suffering is not something we are given because we deserve pain, it’s just a part of life. It’s something that actually strengthens us to become who we are meant to be. Suffering allows us to find our purpose, grow in our faith and have compassion for others who suffer too.
So instead of complaining about all the hardships I don’t deserve, I try to remember to thank God for giving me a wonderful life that I didn’t earn. A life full of so much love that I truly don’t deserve.